Intentional Applications

Last April I submitted an Accidental Application for disability.  I was promptly denied due to not having enough work credits, without them ever getting around to looking into the medical basis for my claim.  Ten months later, I should now have enough work credits thanks to my sub-part-time job at the hospital.

The social worker in inpatient encouraged me to reapply when I shared my concerns about being unable to afford moving out on my own.  She even made some calls for me to find out if there was a way to reopen the old application, but the information she got was that it’s best to just start fresh.  I proceeded to procrastinate for a month.

Last week Sadie assigned me a project to schedule my time each day until my next appointment (today) and then mark down what I actually did with each time block and how it felt.  When I made the schedule for today I included “disability application” and allotted one hour to do it.  She was hesitant to encourage me until she confirmed that it’s possible for me to get approved and still keep my job.

This time the application was a little easier in that I’d done it before, but a little harder in that more time has passed and there was more information to include.  I got 80% of it done in my allotted hour and saved it so I could take a break, but after supper I went back to complete and submit it.

I am scared of the rest of the process.  Of course I want to be approved and get onto more stable ground financially.  I’m not scared of the end result no matter which way it goes, but I’m very scared of what it is going to take to get there.

I also have a phone interview Thursday morning for possible SNAP benefits.  They may not approve me since I do live with someone who does pay for food, but she only provides meats and grains.  If I want fruits or vegetables or dairy products I’m on my own, which probably explains some of my current health problems.


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