Sadie told me in my last appointment that this is the longest time span in which I’ve been doing well, and the first time that I’ve seemed truly enthusiastic about things. I’d run out of things to say after 35 minutes, and with the exception of some what-if musings on past life choices, it was all very positive and future-facing.
I’ve already talked about my job search and volunteering for the Crisis Intervention Team. This time I came in right on the heels of a discussion with Sierra about my job dilemma. Initially it had just been whether or not to cut back on my hours so I’d be eligible for disability, but then the situation got more complicated. Not only had Sadie and Brent encouraged me to work full-time, but my current 2-4 days per week had been cut to the 1 day per week for which I was originally hired. So if I did want to work full-time, my current job is not where it would happen.
I haven’t heard anything yet about the two jobs in inpatient, but I haven’t given up hope yet because I know they are slow about interviewing applicants. Sierra didn’t seem to think it was impossible for me to get the job (she also suggested the residential tech positions) and said that they’d had employees with mental illness who still had to be hospitalized a couple of times a year. The rule was just that they had to go to a different facility. She also mentioned that to be a case manager I would not need a specific degree, just any Bachelor’s degree.
Some coworkers asked if I’d considered going back to school. It’s been a fleeting thought in the past, but I never felt confident that I could handle it. The fastest route to a degree would be to continue with my theatre major, but I can’t bear the thought of going to all that work to study things that aren’t going to help in my future career. I did some investigating and the major university in the nearest city offers an interdisciplinary degree where you can choose three minors to combine and do a capstone project that ties them together. I knew instantly that I wanted to combine psychology, social work, and criminal justice.
Mere hours after talking with Sierra I had e-mailed an academic advisor to request information on the course requirements for general education and the three minors I chose. I should be able to transfer in most of the general education courses from my previous attempts at college, and I’m estimating between 2 and 3 years to complete the remaining courses, depending on how many I can take at once. I’d definitely start with just two the first semester, and would like to complete everything I can online before having to drive into the city to attend on campus.
Sadie was surprised that I already had requested information. This is what happens when I’m not depressed – I dive right into things – and I don’t think she’s ever seen me in this stable state.